My 3 and 5 year old boys were involved in their Nanny’s death from the moment that she knew she had a few months left. She had a cardboard coffin at home and they helped decorate it and she told them she was going to be buried in it. At her woodland burial, my elder son placed pictures and letters they had drawn into her coffin so she would have something to read. At her funeral they played at her graveside with their toy cars and at one point someone had to stop one of the kids falling into the grave – it was a hairy moment but we did giggle loads after.