Dad, a fifth generation family funeral director, made no reference in his will or any other documentation to his death, funeral or body/ashes disposal wishes. This was despite years of cursing clients who hadn’t a clue what their loved ones wanted for their funerals! He died in 2008. My mum, sister and I all had different ideas – we all agreed on cremation with his good friend, the local vicar, officiating. We went back to the country club where Dad’s Rotary Club meetings were held – another easy choice. But what to do with his ashes! My sister dug her heels in with every suggestion that Mum and I agreed on. Scattered on the sand dunes where he spent time? Buried in the garden? In a sundial? In the firebox of a steam train? TWO YEARS this went on! We’d talked about the seemingly empty plot alongside two of his family graves in the local cemetery. One plot had his parents and the second his grandparents and uncle. One day, I phones the cemetery to ask if it was possible to buy the adjacent, grass covered plot. I was informed it was already owned, having been bought in thee 1950’s. Their data protection rules mean they could not name the owner. Five minutes later, a staff member called back. “Is Stanley Porter a relative of yours?” He was my dad’s dad, my grandfather. When he died the plot ownership passed to my dad – we don’t know if he knew he owned it or simply didn’t think to mention it! At last we had out selection. His ashes were finally interred three weeks later.
