My grandfather died at home when I was three. He knew he was dying and had given my parents explicit instructions about what to do, including, “don’t upset the bairns, I don’t want them at the funeral.” So he was taken away by the funeral director and I never saw him again or had the chance to say goodbye. All the grownups thought they were doing the right thing, but it couldn’t have been more wrong. I had adored him, and I never really got over the loss because the reality of his death was kept so remote. I still feel sad. Tiny children do mourn, and should be allowed to mourn. I hope things are more progressive these days!
