I went to a funeral of a childhood friend. He died aged 37 – a couple of months after a sudden cancer diagnosis. His wishes were for a celebration of his life and for the focus to be on positivity and love of life to be at the heart of it. This was how he lived and how he wanted to be remembered. I kept having to remind myself that this was a funeral. Summers day, white marquee, balloons, cakes, prosecco, bouncy castle, his two small boys running around playing with their friends, people taking selfies. It felt like a wedding. On one hand it felt progressive and wonderful to celebrate him in this way. On the other, I felt an uncomfortable sense that something was missing. That the positivity and celebration was overriding what really needed to be there as well. I think it was the grief. There was no space for it.
